Conclusion

So as I continue to grapple with whether or not to put my biographical story out there, I came to a determination recently as I’ve been wading through another one of my older works. I’ve decided that rather than introduce myself to the reading public as a person who dealt with and survived a debilitating psychotic break, I plan to first publish my historical fiction work that does not reveal anything about my past. It is strictly creative and fictional.

I am definitely more at peace with this, but it also reveals something sad about our society–that I can’t find comfort and solace in sharing my whole self with the people out there. I’m not so much concerned with random people who might pick up my book, but rather the people with whom I work closely as well as the parent community of the school where I teach. It says something about our ability to accept those who may be different in some way, like myself.

This path was recommended to me by my therapist as well as my brother, and the only one I feel a bit conflicted about telling is my publisher friend who was imploring me to come forward with my story about my past. I will tell her, in time, of my plan, and therefore, may have to self publish my historical fiction account, but I’m okay with that. The next stage is developing a website where I can promote my book and try to generate a readership. That, to me, is the most difficult aspect of becoming a novice writer. Ideally, writers have PR people who do this for them, but I am no Stephen King, so I have to take the reins myself.

I am not good at self promotion; I’m a rather modest and humble person, but the world of writing intrigues me, and I want to take this on as a second venture to my teaching career, so the self promotion comes with the territory. I guess I’m at peace with my decision; although, it still bothers me that I can’t share my whole self with the people I work with and the parents of my students; maybe in time I will be able to as our society continues to become more accepting and enlightened.