Update

So I’ll bring you up to speed. There has been a lot of stress in my life recently. With the start of the next school year looming in a couple of weeks, I’ve kind of been on edge, which has made me a bit short with the kids, something that I’m working on. Also, my wife’s grandmother is very sick in the hospital and could go at any time, so we are all on watch, praying for her peaceful passing. With this being the case, I’ve thought a lot about the great beyond, specifically, what happens to us at the end.

I discussed this idea with my wife’s uncle last night. We had gathered in my mother-in-law’s family room during a family get together to honor grandma, who we affectionately call GG. He believes that it’s like an eternal sleep, just complete darkness, nothingness, and I have a very hard time accepting that. I believe that our spirits travel somewhere better, where we are reunited with lost loved ones. It gives me a sense of calm when I see old relatives struggling at the end. With that said, it has been extremely hard for me to remain at GG’s bedside while my wife’s family talks to her and gives her updates on the family and all of her great grandchildren.

To cope with the pain and eventual loss, I’ve taken to reading and editing an old manuscript that I completed some time ago. I’ve found as I read through the work, that GG’s influence is all over it. I think I wrote it as a kind of a living tribute to her and all she stood for, and it brings me comfort to know that even when she moves on from the physical world, I will remember her in the prose that I will dedicate to her.

I’m thinking more and more, as I try to get my writing off the ground, that I will start with the manuscript that I am currently reading, so that I don’t have to expose all of my personal demons right off the bat with the biographical account of my past. I think that’s a good plan for me, and one I will abide by. I have to run this past my publishing friend who is planning on getting my works out to the public. I hope she will also help me market my projects because that to me seems like the most daunting task of all.

So as GG moves to a better place, I’m glad I can honor her with the outlet that allows me to cope with such difficult occurrences. I know that if she were capable, she would celebrate her influence in my creativity; she is truly an inspiration to us all.